It’s a Family Affair – Unconventional Resources

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The single mom topic is a sticky subject for me and other “truly” single moms.  My son’s father has joint custody and sees him every other weekend, if not more, especially in the summer or around holidays.  I’m not currently receiving child support.  It’s a LONG story.

I also do have a live-in boyfriend significant other boyfriend (okay that sounds weird, when I say ALSO and the whole “what to call him” is  mess), but he works two jobs, so I still feel like a single mom.  Since I am the breadwinner, the “extra” income has little effect on our lifestyle, but is needed right now due to unforeseen financial circumstances.  I felt like less of a single mom when he was unemployed due to layoff and I was the only one working.  Now, I’m in charge of it all again.  Raising a teenager is taking a toll on me.

I can easily say that my teenage son has it going for him.  He’s got all of the latest technologies, which I provided for him by working my toosh off, but the finances have taken a hit as of late.  This is the reason my boyfriend is working two jobs.

pay it forward

I’ve always been the kind of person who wants to “pay it forward” and I firmly believe in the mantra of “do unto others”.  I also believe in Karma.

Everything you do comes back to you.

For many years, I’ve wanted to involve my son in charitable events and organizations.  We’ve donated, we’ve free-cycled, but I don’t feel like he’s ever really understood what exactly we’re trying to accomplish or how fortunate he is compared to others.

As a teenager, it’s important, critical in fact, that he grasp this concept NOW. So, I enlisted the help of my former in-laws.  You did what?

It’s definitely unconventional of me, but I proposed the idea to my ex in-laws per se…

pay it forward

We’re going to gather up all of the children and parents from multiple generations and pay it forward.  We plan to make this a regular occurrence, not just around holidays.  Our children need to learn what it means to really be hungry, to really be needy and the difference between needs versus wants. 

We also plan to schedule a “movie night” where the children watch a movie such as “Pay It Forward” or something of the like to get them in the know.  Philanthropy will be the theme!

What are you doing to make sure your child understands the need to pay it forward?

  • Jaime

    I understand about being a single parent. My daughter’s father will never be allowed in her life again, so it’s me and myself only. To top it off she has mental and physical disabilities and it’s only my income supporting us (full time outside the home). It’s exhausting between running her to therapies, the whole battery of specialists, than to school (in the school year), then off to work, then come home, get her meds, do more therapies, plus find quality time. Wash, rinse and repeat!

    I think it’s awesome that you want your son to pay-it-forward. That’s a great gesture. We are involved with several non profits in my state and mostly, my focus is on our most vulnerable: seniors, children and the disabled. Of course, we aid and assist with our homeless population. There are great nationwide groups we are involved with: KEEN USA (we are part of our local affiliate), Hands On (our local affiliate), I also educate about the dangers of Shaken Baby Syndrome and am forming a national resource network for those who are impacted by Shaken baby syndrome. I am working on finding funding so I can quit my day job and help mentor families affected by Shaken Baby syndrome- advocate for services, sit through court hearings and trials, etc. Helping others is such a healing step.

    Good job!

    • melissasaywhat

      Jaime – You’ve probably got a bit more on your plate with your daughter, but it’s great that you STILL find time to give back to the community. Thanks for the tips. I’ll check some of those organizations out!